I opened my TikTok this morning and one of the first videos I saw was a woman apologizing for being ugly. WHAT? The next video was a mom talking about how much she is missing her son, who took his own life after being bullied. I then saw Dylan Mulvaney defending herself against some bully… yet again. And then saw a video of the women in Iran fighting with all their might for fundamental human rights.
My TikTok algorithm (and the universe) were screaming at me to say something. So here goes…
We cannot say “be kinder” if it’s conditional. We cannot only be kind to what “fits into our box”.
Who cares if a person doesn’t fit into a specific category of “looks”. If their weight is not what we deem ideal. People share judgment and hate because of differences in ethnicity and race or if someone lives in the wrong country, or they are immigrants, or gay, or trans, or they want a pronoun, or they’re too woke, or not woke enough, or they’re a woman who wants to be independent (in some countries), or they have a different opinion to you, or whatever description doesn’t fit into a certain box.
Globally, close to 800,000 people die from suicide every year. That’s one person every 40 seconds.
And I know it’s not all due to bullying or hate or being on the receiving end of unkindness… but a lot of it is. We have to ask ourselves: how many people have to leave this world in the most tragic ways before we realise that kindness doesn’t fit into a box?
There is no box. That’s entirely made up. And as much as you think your opinions are your own, most of those things you believe have been learnt. Luckily they can be unlearnt.
So here is my advice today.
The world is hard enough without people making it more difficult for each other. If you see someone falling behind, walk beside them. If someone is being ignored, find a way to include them. If someone has been knocked down, lift them up. Always remind people of their worth. Be who you needed when you were going through hard times.
And if someone is doing something they love or even just enjoy a little, and they are not hurting anyone else by doing it, then just let them be.
Throw away the judgement and the “conditions” of being kind… and be kinder than necessary (or needed) to everyone.
Don’t ever be the reason someone stops dancing.
In fact, we should all learn to dance with them.
That’s it. I hope you all feel loved and supported today.